Tedd's Residence

For the last number of months, the over reaching theme in the Tedd Family revolves around the childrens’ behavior.  Having three kids all 4 years old and younger presents certain problems, namely temper tantrums lasting from morning until night.  It comes with the territory, but it is frustrating for parents and the constant question is “am I a good parent”?!  Tündi and I are no different.  We are struggling with this, Tündi more so than I, but that is because she is closer to the proverbial fire.

Because of this continuous struggle, I have given a lot of thought to why are the kids acting the way they are and I am making a concerted effort to look at the world the way they see it – with all of the joys and frustrations that life carries for them.  This has been an eye opening experience for me – in more ways than I would have thought.

For instance, I have realized that not only can this help me avoid some arguments and problems with the kids, but by developing this talent of seeing the world through the eyes of others, a lot of frustration and some conflicts can be avoided altogether.  In English we have a great word for this: empathy.  I have always admired those who are empathetic.  They often have a great spirit about them, but only recently through this process of concerted effort of seeing the world through the eyes of others have I begun to see the great value of empathy.

Think about conflicts and difficulties that you might be having with other people – inside or outside of your family.  Could be more empathetic with the person(s) that you are struggling with?  I’d be willing to bet that in most cases we’d honestly have to answer ‘yes’!

The Scriptures, as far as I know, do not use the actual word ‘empathy’, but the Scriptures make many references to wisdom and the need to become wise. I feel it is appropriate to say that an empathetic person is a wise person.

In the Bible, in the book of ECCLESIASTES (Chapter 2 verse 26) it says:

“For God giveth to a man that is good in his sight wisdom, and knowledge, and joy…”

In other words, wisdom, knowledge and joy are all gifts one can receive from God.  I literally have been praying often for a better understanding of my children, but we should all commit to being more empathetic and trying to see the world through the eyes of others!  I know that as I do that with my children and with others, I will have less frustrations and be happier and have more joy!

As an incredibly funny and lighthearted anecdote on the subject, Tündi and I were literally and unexpectedly able to see the world through Benson’s eyes yesterday.  We had downloaded all of the pictures and videos from Tündi’s camera and were looking through them.  Unfortunately for Tündi’s camera Benson often steals the camera and goes and takes pictures of things, but last night, much to our surprise a few weeks ago Benson had taken a video.  We got a small window into how he sees the world.  This was, for us at least, a powerfully amusing and fun thing to watch.

Enjoy seeing the world through Benson’s eyes for 2 fun-filled minutes!

It is interesting, that when one has 1 child it is easy to keep a memory book and take notes on everything the child does – noteworthy or not.  It is easy to record first words, first tooth, walking, etc.  With Emma we were really good at doing that and even with Benson we took a good crack at recording all of those memories.  But when Tündi got pregnant with Olivia, that all stopped.

Simply, with three small children Tündi (and when I am home), we are too busy creating memories to record anything.  I think that sometimes people put too much preassure on themselves to record memories at the risk of not having them.  I think that in our family on this issue, we have found a good balance.  When we have time for ourselves and have larger family activities, we strive to take pictures and videos and make them special so that we have things to look back at.

But to be honest, if I don’t remember when one of our kids’ teeth started coming in, or if I don’t remember the exact day and circumstance when my child first says ‘Daddy’, it doesn’t matter.  Especially, if I was too busy enjoying the memory to record it.

We had a great family vacation a few weeks ago, when we went to Debrecen  which is in Eastern Hungary  for a few days and a day in Budapest .  I did take a bunch of videos & pictures, and after the vacation, put it into a great video.  The entire time, however, enjoying the family and having tons of fun!

I look at what Church leaders have taught us and I am reminded that they have never taught us to keep a Baby Memory book (which is fine though), but rather to keep a journal.  For that reason, I try to spend time each week writting in a journal to make sure that our family’s life is recorded.

I would like to share with you the video we made from our Vacation.  Enjoy it and remember to keep a journal for your benfit and for the benefit of your posterity!

We, like every other family on the planet just went back to school earlier this month.  Emma has started a Pre-School near our home.  Benson, is going on Mondays and Tuesdays to a different Pre-School.

Last school year, however, they went to the same Pre-School that had a type of Day Care too, where Benson went.  So, they attended the same place, but different classes you’d say.

At the end of the year, the Pre-School put on a great production!  However, we only got the DVD at the end of the summer (see video later on down in the post).

It is interesting how we as humans put a value on beginnings and endings.  An opportunity (gained or lost) to finish something as well as start anew.  School years are so typical of the grandiose excitement and anticipation and in some cases reluctance that all children place on these mile markers.

We as children were no different and out children also are the same.

These milestones are great opportunities to celebrate and evaluate.  For our family, the end of the Pre-School year was a pleasant surprise on how much Emma and Benson had progressed and grown right under our noses.

Benson was one of the few little kids that knew all of the songs and didn’t run out screaming in the middle.

Emma, was given a lead part in the production the older kids put on.  It is also important to note, that she was the smallest of all of the big kids.  We had no idea that she could sing to musical accompaniment.  It was a joy!

We are incredibly proud of both Emma and Benson and on how well they did!!

Then, a few short weeks later, a new school year was already on us.  While we as a family are still trying to work out the kinks, Emma and Benson are going to Pre-School.  As I mentioned, they are going to different Pre-Schools.  Last year, they would be in school all day.  This year, they are only going in the mornings.

I am posting here, the short version of the year end productions that only focus on parts that Benson and Emma actual were in.  Also, will be a video of the first day of school this year.  Naturally, they are all singing in Hungarian.

Then, the school year began and here is a video that we made of Emma and Benson’s first day of school.  We had a blast making this!!

Tündi and I haven’t written very much lately because the last two months have been extremely difficult and full of trials.  Some good things have happened, but we haven’t really been able to enjoy them or appreciate them because of all the difficulties.

Lately, however, things seem to be getting better!  I was reminded yesterday of an idiom that about things keep happening “until the cows come home”.

You know how it is often used:

‘Violet talks until the cows come home and nothing ever happens’,
or
‘You can diet until the cows come home and you still won’t be able to fit into those clothes from High School’.

I was beginning to feel that the trials would keep coming “until the cows come home”.  As I mentioned above, things have gotten better & while we aren’t out of the woods yet, we are feeling better about things.

Cows Have Come Home!

This is underscored by a fun thing that happened last night!  I got home from work and we took the kids to a playground and then for ice cream.  It was pretty late, but we decided to drive around for a bit while they ate their ice cream especially since Benson had slept a lot in the afternoon.  While we were driving around we came upon a farm with A LOT of cattle – Grey Hungarian Cows to be exact (in Hungarian: Magyar szürke szarvasmarha or Magyar alföldi) and they were beauts!

While Olivia slept in the car, Tündi, Emma, Benson, and I got a guided tour of the farm and the cattle by a very nice Ranch-hand.  Took some video for you to see below.  I think that means for us, The Cows Have Come Home!!

Let this be a lesson to all of us, eventually, the cows always come home!

For the first time since I was a teenager practically, I had to stay home from Church today.  I had s stomach flu that was giving me grief.  I got to stay home with my darling little Olivia as Tündi and the kids went to Budapest for Mother’s Day today (Mother’s Day in Hungary is one week earlier than in the States – so don’t worry guys, you didn’t forget…. yet!)

I have had plenty of time to reflect today.  I have thought much about our Family, the changes we are going through, the Temple, my Savior my work and things going on in the world.

Family – Great Changes Ahead for the Tedds

We are so blessed as a family!  We have three perfect little ones we love so much and who love us unconditionally.  They have enriched our lives beyond words!  Because of them, it doesn’t matter where we are and what we do, because no matter what, we are one.

I think that since this “Great Recession” has hit, people all over the world, have begun to focus more on family and things that are important.  I am so blessed, that together with my wife, we haven’t had to make any adjustments.  Her intense love and wise perspective have been imperative to us being that way!  Having said that, we too feel that adjustments must be made.  It means living leaner and wiser so that we can be better prepared for any unseen problems and also to make sure we are able to not only provide for our children’s now, but their tomorrows too!

To that end, in less than 6 weeks, we’ll move to a smaller city and a smaller apartment and I absolutely draed moving, but I look forward to being able to having the resources, that moving will allow, to better obey the Lord’s Commandments, like build Food Storage!

The Temple

As I wrote last week, Benson and I got to go to the Temple in Freiberg, Germany.  I love the Temple and I love going and I love that Tündi shares that same love for the Temple!  What I have been praying for, for more than thirteen years now is a Temple in Hungary.  Each General Confernce, I sit on the edge of my seat as the Prophet speaks, hoping and praying that he will announce a Temple for Hungary.  I don’t know when the Temple will come to Hungary, but I have recently been reminded of an important teaching: no matter how often or how rarely one can go to the Temple, it is imperative that we reflect on the Temple often – at least weekly!  That way, the Temple will be a part of us and the Spirit of the Temple will be powerful in our lives!

My path to the physical Temple has changed over the years.  When I lived in St. George, Utah, I had 5 minute drive to the Temple (7 minutes if I caught the red light at the corner).  I remember with fodness going at least weekly with my friends and for a time when the St. George Temple was open all night long, we would catch a midnight Session.  Oh what beautiful memories!

Then, one of the things that led to my staying in Hungary was a Temple Trip to the Freiberg, Germany Temple.  Trips in those days were such, that everyone going would go on a bus.  It would take at least 12 hours, but more often 15-18 hours – depending on the boarders and whether the bus driver got lost or not.  Those trips have special memories because of the friendships built on the buses!

There was a little more than a year while the Freiberg Temple was being enlarged and renovated that members from Hungary would attend the Swiss and Frankfurt Temples.  Those have unique memories that helped make me who I am.

Today, Saints from Hungary don’t take organized buses any more, but rather we all drive.  The boarder crossings are gone (thanks to Hungary joining the EU) and the roads are better.  The drive is not 7-9 hours long and we still go on Monday and come home on Saturday and spend all day Tues-Fri in the Temple.

Each type of Temple visit has its own quality.  I have been close enough to go each week for a Session, popping in during the middle of the day.  I am now far enough away that we go for the entire week, two or three times a year.

The common thread in all of this, is that during the hours, days, weeks, and months that I am not in the Temple, in order for the Temple to truely be a blessing in my life, I must set aside time outside the Temple to reflect on the Temple.  Otherwise its significance is lessened.

Jesus Christ

One thing that got the spiritual juices for this reflection started today was as I stumbled accross a powerful exhibit this morning on the Web titled “Reflections of Christ”.  From what I understand the photographer, Mark Mabry, had an exhibit and film at the Mesa, Arizona Temple titled “Reflections of Christ” and that exhibit is now on tour throughout the U.S.

What struck me most about Mr. Mabry’s (see a slide show here) work is the intense Spirit that it was created with and in such a way that each person’s thoughts hone in on their own Spirituality and relationship with the Savior and doesn’t attempt to explain the reflections, but rather leaves it to the viewer – which is how the Savior teaches.  His work is powerful in its simplicity!

Work

Things at work are going well.  Tomorrow begins another audit, but these are routine and I enjoy them because we learn a lot!  Looking forward to seeing my boss!  No matter who I worked for, no matter what my job has been, ever since I began working, when I was 16 (my first job was at Radio Shack!) I have always loved my job and loved going to work every day.  Since it my place to work and support the Family, I am so greatful that I love what I do!  I have always told people, only do a job that you love – otherwise, find something else!

Crazy Things in the World

Finally, it would seem that the world is moving faster than it ever has before!!  A year ago, no one would have imagined the financial problems in the world and the complexity & enormity of them!  Two weeks ago, no one would have imagined that we’d be talking about the possibility of a global pandemic.  Political strife is as bad as it gets in the two countries I pay attention to the most – America and Hungary!

Even as fast as the world moves, I come back to where I started.  We must all focus increasingly on our relationship with the Lord and on our Eternal families.  And if we don’t have a family of our own yet (or anymore) and we are of age, we must spend all of energies ensuring that we are worthy of of an Eternal Family when it comes!  By adhering to that, no matter what situation we find ourselves in, we will be blessed!

If you made it to this point of the post, you deserve a reward – I leave you with a picture of my dear angel, Olivia who has been my companion today.

Daddy only speaks English to the kids, but they do live in Hungary & their Mommy speaks Hungarian to them and so does — everyone.  The kids understand everything in English, but it takes a lot of work to get them to talk in English.

Today, however, a win for the American side of the family.  Benson counted for the first time ever and it was in English! Yohoo!

This is the great video, but I must add, that before the cameras were rolling he counted to 5 with no problem, but as you’ll see after the camera was on, he stumbled with ‘4′.  At any rate, he is a cute as a bug!

It has been a long, awesome, hard, week that has gone by so quickly!  How is that for a bunch of contradictions?!

Benson and I went to the Temple in Freiberg, Germany this week and we had a great time together.  I spent every AM in the Temple, then came out and put Benson down for his mid-day nap.  Then we spent the afternoon and evening together.  We did this every day and loved it!

As I write this I am with Emma and Olivia at a playground here in Kecskemét.  It is a graet place, called the SOS Children’s Village (SOS Gyermek Falu) listening to some great country music while Emma is playing.  Life is good!

The Tedds are about to do something we have never done before, travel in 2 different directions!  Sure I travel all the time for work and have to leave the family at home for days on end.  We don’t like it, but we are as used to it as one can be.

Next week, however, Benson and I are going to travel to Freiberg, Germany to the Temple together.  The girls will stay at home.  It will be strange and we are going to miss each other something aweful, but we also know that there will be some special bonding going on.  Benson and I will get to spend a lot of some special one-on-one time together that we’ve never had so much of before.  Tündi and Emma will get to have some special one-on-one (with a sprinkling of Olivia) time together and I think that we will all be better for it – although we will hate being seperated all the same!

Posted from Athens, Greece

It is Day 4 of a week-long business trip that I am on in Athens, Greece.  I am getting some good work done here and things are going well, but I sure miss my Family!!  I Skyped with them the other day and took a couple of pictures.  Don’t they look great!!

Then, to top it all off, tonight Emma couldn’t go to sleep and wanted her Daddy.  So, they called me.  If I didn’t miss them a TON before, now I really do.

I am greatful to my Heavenly Father that he watches over them while I am gone, but I am so excited to be there with them and hug them and kiss them early Saturday morning!

A few minutes ago our little dear Olivia ate some apple juice.  It was the first bit of real food she’s had before.  Her reaction is classic and made her opinion very obivous.

Take a look for yourself!