For the last number of months, the over reaching theme in the Tedd Family revolves around the childrens’ behavior. Having three kids all 4 years old and younger presents certain problems, namely temper tantrums lasting from morning until night. It comes with the territory, but it is frustrating for parents and the constant question is “am I a good parent”?! Tündi and I are no different. We are struggling with this, Tündi more so than I, but that is because she is closer to the proverbial fire.
Because of this continuous struggle, I have given a lot of thought to why are the kids acting the way they are and I am making a concerted effort to look at the world the way they see it – with all of the joys and frustrations that life carries for them. This has been an eye opening experience for me – in more ways than I would have thought.
For instance, I have realized that not only can this help me avoid some arguments and problems with the kids, but by developing this talent of seeing the world through the eyes of others, a lot of frustration and some conflicts can be avoided altogether. In English we have a great word for this: empathy. I have always admired those who are empathetic. They often have a great spirit about them, but only recently through this process of concerted effort of seeing the world through the eyes of others have I begun to see the great value of empathy.
Think about conflicts and difficulties that you might be having with other people – inside or outside of your family. Could be more empathetic with the person(s) that you are struggling with? I’d be willing to bet that in most cases we’d honestly have to answer ‘yes’!
The Scriptures, as far as I know, do not use the actual word ‘empathy’, but the Scriptures make many references to wisdom and the need to become wise. I feel it is appropriate to say that an empathetic person is a wise person.
In the Bible, in the book of ECCLESIASTES (Chapter 2 verse 26) it says:
“For God giveth to a man that is good in his sight wisdom, and knowledge, and joy…”
In other words, wisdom, knowledge and joy are all gifts one can receive from God. I literally have been praying often for a better understanding of my children, but we should all commit to being more empathetic and trying to see the world through the eyes of others! I know that as I do that with my children and with others, I will have less frustrations and be happier and have more joy!
As an incredibly funny and lighthearted anecdote on the subject, Tündi and I were literally and unexpectedly able to see the world through Benson’s eyes yesterday. We had downloaded all of the pictures and videos from Tündi’s camera and were looking through them. Unfortunately for Tündi’s camera Benson often steals the camera and goes and takes pictures of things, but last night, much to our surprise a few weeks ago Benson had taken a video. We got a small window into how he sees the world. This was, for us at least, a powerfully amusing and fun thing to watch.
Enjoy seeing the world through Benson’s eyes for 2 fun-filled minutes!
